Why grading girls on the 1 to 10 scale fucks our selfesteem

There are only 1s and 0s. Either you like them enough to want to be with them, or you don't.




No girl is superior to the next, there's no nobility in being born with a pretty face and body. The only difference between hot girls and not so hot ones is the behavior men manifest around them.




Around hot girls, men will become vulgar, say nasty "complements" and behave in an animalistic manner. So the girl feels threatened by the guy, its an innate fear that comes from the fact that she's weaker physically than the guy, and makes her feel almost attacked, so because she's in a public place she knows she is protected by the crowd and will attack back with a mean and arrogant response. The hot girl feels threatened by the guy, and this constant feeling of threat makes them more alert and more aware of signs of 'lameness'.




A guy is lame when he feels unworthy of something, and even lamer when he feels unworthy and still goes for it, because in that case he's practically asking the girl to reject him with every sign of body language he unconsciously makes. He believes deep down that he should not get the girl, and that belief is projected throw he's body language. Body language is to people, and specially to girls, the equivalent to the lie detector's data. And girls are very good at reading this data. This is what makes their approach fail, as they don't feel like they deserve 'the girl', putting the girl in the position of something that is 'to be had' and therefore objectifying her.




this feeling of unworthiness in turn makes guys behave in a vulgar fashion and say nasty complements, and the vicious circle perpetuates itself, creating a culture of 'the mean hot girl' and the 'friendly ugly girl' which is just a product of insecurities manifesting in a manner unhelpful to us as individuals and collectively, not only as guys or as a community, but as humans.




every person (girl) is composed of a body, and a soul.


The body is assigned randomly at birth, but the soul is the same for every baby. The soul of every person is the same, it has the same value and its who the person really is, deep down. the body is nothing but an outer shell that tells you nothing about the soul.
The person, from now on the girl, is a combination of her body, her soul, and the sum of all her life experiences.

Then, the only difference between hot girls and ugly girls is the life experiences they've had.
Her body is who she is the first 10 minutes after you meet her, at most. Her life experiences and her body combined are who she is in the next days, and if you actually get to know her soul, you are a very lucky man.

Because the body, and its hotness, is randomly assigned to the soul, no hot girl feels like she's any different or superior to any other girl, until they are conditioned to think so by society. That being said, most hot girls, (the intelligent ones) hate to be treated differentially just because of their looks, and will appreciate a man that can appreciate that deep down, their body is just a facade, and their true self is just a normal human being, that wants to be treated normally, by people that behave normally.
this cry for normalness is very common among everyone that is treated differently by people, and knowing this is a very powerful thing. Treat people thought of as lesser human beings, such as the homeless, as normal people, and you will win their hart. Treat them as superior people and you will be thought of as a fan, treat then as lesser human beings and you will be hated.

The one thing i want you to remember is to treat all people as your equals, no matter their gender, their hotness or their social status, and you will be very well liked. Don't cathegorise people or they will categorise you.

The 9 Lessons of Social Dynamics

I've been preparing a series of posts that provided a lot of value and depth to my understanding of social dynamics.

Some are 100% my idea, others are from other people, and some are variations on things other people have spoken about.

Hell, one of them is a quote from Alfie (2004)!

So the posts are be called lessons, just because that's the way I have them saved up in my phone, as they came up in my life or in my head.

Here is the Index:

Lesson 1: You Should Never Answer a Question that Hasn't Been Asked
Lesson 2: The Value Other People Give to Your Actions is Proportional to the Value You Give Them Yourself.
Lesson 3: The Kiss LMR Destroyer Routine 
Lesson 4: You can't give what you don't have
Lesson 5: The Law of Conservation of Group Rational Attitude
Lesson 6: The Law of Emotional Transference
Lesson 7: The Law of Symbiosis
Lesson 8: Never expect any thanks in this life (Alfie)
Lesson 9: Time has more than one dimension

I hope you like them!

Jason.

Lesson 1

 

 

You should never answer a question that hasnt been asked.

I would like you to just read that sentence, and don't read forward just yet. read it and think about the full meaning of that sentence for a moment. Only then continue reading. This will help you give your own meaning to the sentence, and that deeper understanding cant be matched by any explanation.

It's quite obvious when you think about it, but it was a very important lesson in my journey.
Basically, if the other person did not show interest to know the answer to a question, do not answer.

But its not only about questions. Going back to investment, if the person you are talking to doesn't invest the time to ask something, and you answer never the less, you are lowering your value.
it extends to advice too. Let me give you an example:

Say you go out with friends, and one of your friends is trying to hook up with a girl, and you see him making a mistake. You really want to help him, because he's your friend. You can now do two things:

1) Don't follow the first lesson: go and say to him
-"Hey I saw you with that girl over there, dude you were moving too fast, she was getting uncomfortable"

To which he will probably tell you to fuck off and stop acting like an expert, or

2) Follow the first lesson: go and say to him:

- "Hey I saw you with that girl over there, how did it go?"
- "Not good bro I don't know what happened. did you see me?"
- "Yeah stuff was going well, but seeing it from an outside perspective I think I know what went wrong"
- "Really? what happened?"
- "I think you might have gone too fast."

(After this of course you need to fundament your accusation politely or nobody is going to take it seriously. It's advisable in this particular case to tell a story of how you messed up too and learned from that, so your friend doesn't feel like you are talking to him from a superiority position)

Another example:

The other day my brother commented something about how weird it was that if you touch the fire of a small candle quite fast, you don't get burned. I knew the reason why that happened, and my ego was pushing me forward to explain how it worked, just as a means to validate itself , but he didn't ask how it worked, he just made an observation, and I told him, I was about to tell you why that happens, but you didn't ask so i wont. He actually was relieved.

Me from before learning social dynamics would have explained it, and it would have bored him to death, because I'm into science and he's not. Knowing this simple lesson and how to apply it, I saved him from that bring explanation, and I saved myself from looking like I was showing off.

By the way, showing off sends everyone a very strong sign of how insecure you are. If you need to prove yourself to others, that means you use their approval to measure your success, and thats the very definition of a beta male.

So don't answer questions that hasn't been asked, you come off arrogant, full of shit, a show off, and not nice.

Learn that sometimes its better to shut up. Other times, it's better to provoque the question before stating your opinion.

hope this helps.

jason.

Lesson 2

The value other people give to your actions is proportional to the value you give them yourself.

Talking about a few of this lessons with friends of mine, I realized that many of them have one thing in common: they are stuff we all know deep down, but writing them down solidifies the concept in a very beneficial way. I suggest whenever you have an insight, take that phone out of your pocket and write it down. I personally find it very helpful.

We have a great deal of influence over other people's perception of us and our actions.

Adam Lyons has great examples explaining this concept. In one of his talks at the 21 Convention he tells a story of how he rushed inside the ladies room to talk to a friend of he's, and she was peeing, but he gave no importance to that, he gave no value to the situation, and the girl kind of accepted that behavior. RSD people call it setting the frame. I chose to use the word value, but it could also be called level of importance, or relevance. I used the word value because it has a wider meaning.

Let's use a simple example, let's say you drop your bottle of water over your food at lunch time, in some public place. Maybe a restaurant, maybe the college food court, etc.

Now, a great deal of the value people give to that act of clumsiness will be determined by your own reaction to it.

An example of giving that action a lot of value would be to curse loudly, get angry, take the plate and throw all your food away.

This way you loose in all ends of the spectrum. If people didn't notice you already, they will. It will become a much greater deal, you will develop a bad mood and your whole day will be affected. Also you will lower your own value, by letting this affect you so much, as you show that your life is either lame and monotonous or very unhappy, and also a little weird, otherwise you wouldn't take something like this so badly.

That's probably the worse case scenario, so lets try to improve from that as much as we can.

An example of avoiding to give it much value is to slow down. This types of situations in particular will make most people accelerate. Try to pick their food up, act really fast and even clumsier than before, and this will build up, so i recommend you do the opposite: Slow down. 

Whenever I feel stressed, or Insecure, I stop, sit down, and take a few good deep breaths. It works like magic.

Take a few seconds to understand the situation. Laugh it off, course with a smile if you need to course, and don't be loud.

Transmit the feeling that you understand that this can happen to anyone, throw your actions, let everyone know that its not a big deal. 

Another example:

Say a female friend of yours uses your computer and finds out you have porn on your history record on that browser. You could either try to deny it and come off as someone who is surely very insecure, or be like:

- "yeah everyone does it dude, its normal, get over it."

With a smile, and playfully.

Very different reactions will come from those two approaches.

Even though you can influence a great deal on other people's perception of you and your actions, some of it is left to situational and personal circumstances. The other person might have had a terrible day, don't expect to be able to control other people. 

I like to think of it as an equation:

V1 = K x V2

V1 is the value you give to your own actions

V2 is the value other people give to your actions

K is a situational constant that cant be controlled and that's affected by personal situations the other person is facing, and situational circumstances. k may make V2 bigger or smaller, that just depends, but its always dependent on V1

Own your reality, choose to give and take value from things as you feel convenient or appropriate. 

Hope this helps.

Jason

Lesson 3

The Kiss LMR Destroyer Routine

Lesson 3 is different from the first two lessons. This lesson deals with a very spesific situation. I decided to share it, as it's a very common, and you may find value in it.

Sometimes in the field, girls will show LMR (Last Minute Resistance) to a kiss close, and the routine I'm about to share with you now deals with that type of situation.

Let me give you an example of a girl showing LMR before a kiss.
Last month I went out, and there was a brazilian girl, a bit older than me, that was fucking hot, so I played the usual game: talk to her and her friends a bit, then leave on a high note, then when I run into them again later, talk to them again, kino (physical touch) escalate a bit, then leave on a high note again,

and the third time I run into them, kino, isolate by hugging her, dance a bit and hug her again, by having my hands around her waist, pulling her close, and looking into her eyes. I see she looks at me expectantly, and I go for the kiss, but she rejects it by turning her head. I laugh if off, and a bit later try again. She turns her head, so I run The Kiss LMR Destroyer Routine that is Lesson 3.

When she turns her head, kiss her on her cheek, and make her feel confortable by laughing it off. Then slowly start to kiss her down from her cheek to her neck. Kiss her on her neck, and feel how she loosens up and gets exited. Then with your thumb and index finger touch her chin, and look at her eyes without going for the kiss for 3 or 4 seconds. A lot of tension will be created. Don't wait too much, sometimes its not even necessary to build the tension, just go for the kiss.

This routine has worked 100% of the times I've used it, but you do have to use it only if you can feel that she just rejected the kiss because you haven't gotten close enough, but she does like you and she does wanna kiss you.
If that's not the case good luck trying to kiss her neck.

Hope you find value in this,

Jason.

Lesson 4

You can't give what you don't have. 

My mother used to tell me a story: "When I first got into a plain, and I saw the safety video, it got me thinking. The part when it says that adults should put their masks on before helping children or desabled people. See it's because you cant save anyone if you are dead."

That little bit of wisdom was something I could never grasp at first, but as the years went by I understood what it really means and that is what I have decided to share with you, the Lesson #4.

Ancient Rome had this saying: "Nemo dat quod non habet"

Just as you cant give money to charity if you are broke, you can't be loved if you don't love, as it not
only applies to the physical plain, but also to the emotional, instinctive, and spiritual ones.
You cant make anyone happy unless you are happy yourself.
You cant teach what you don't know.
You cant provide clarity to the minds of others if your mind is troubled , and so on.

Photo of Buenos Aires at twilight.

Learn that to get back, you have to give, and to give you have to have. So focus on makeing yourself a better version of you, just as much, or even more than on learning the tecniques to pick up women.


This lesson is linked with lesson 6, the law of emotional transference. Expect that one sooner, as i have decided to post two posts per week now, one on tusdays and one on saturdays I hope you like this, and it helps you on your journey.

Peace
Jason

Lesson 5

Lesson 5

Law of conservation of group rational attitude.

One of the most powerful lessons, the law of conservation of group rational attitude is also one of the hardest to explain to those that have not experienced it in action. On the other hand, for those that have experienced it in action, this will be very easy to grasp. Bear with me if you haven’t, this lesson is extremely useful in social interactions.

Have you ever participated in a debate? I suppose many of you have, and I’m sure you have experienced that no matter who wins the argument, both parties leave the debate even more convinced of their point of view than before.

Author Dale Carnegie, in his self-help classic ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ teaches that one should never say ‘you are wrong’ ¹. Why? Because that’s the most effective way of putting someone in a defensive position, and defending his point of view ‘till the end, as being right is now attached to his sense of self-worth, and his ego.

This principle is what lesson 5 lays upon, but it extends Carnegie’s teaching to a wider spectrum of social interactions. Just as saying ‘you are wrong’ puts the other person in a defensive position, when you are interacting with a group of people, taking an extreme position on any subject will make the rest of the group take an equally strong, but opposite position in that same subject.

Let’s take politics as an example subject. Let’s say I decide to take a very aggressive position over a particular subject. For example the politics of abortion. Even though people might agree with my position if I skillfully let them build interest in my point of view, and only then voice my opinion (lesson 1. Never answer a question that hasn’t been asked), if I decide to try to push my believes into them and voice my opinion with enough strength and extremism, no matter what the rest of the people in that group believe, all of them combined will develop an equally extreme and strong position in opposition to my own opinion.

That being said, this doesn’t mean that nobody will agree with me. Careful now, because here is the tricky part that makes this extremely powerful. This law states that the sum of all rational attitudes (opinions) of the group in question will remain constant:

 

Let’s say we have a way of measuring the extremeness of an opinion, and we have a group of 5 people, one of which has a very strong position against abortion. One day they are talking, and the subject comes up. 

Now if we could graph the group’s position on the subject while it’s taking place, we would see something like this:

 

Were 5 is the neutral position, as time goes on and Julia starts to get more and more extreme in her argument, john, peter and Kathy stop being neutral. John starts to take a very strong pro-abortion position, Kathy agrees with Julia, very strongly at first but a bit weaker later, and peter fluctuates, keeping a more or less balanced negative opinion about abortion. Robert, on the other hand, remains indifferent to the discussion and decides not to participate.

With 10 being the extreme pro-abortion side, and 0 being the extreme anti-abortion side, the sum of the intensity of the opinions in the group remains at a constant 25. (This is to say that the average opinion in the group is always 5, even though the individual opinions vary greatly.

This dynamic is typical of strongly rational based debates. This is a simplified version, and complications start to appear when the initial intensity of the opinions of the individual people is not neutral, for example, or when there is an emotional connection between two of the participants, which we will analyze in lesson 6: the law of emotional transference, and its relation with lesson 5 and the practical applications it has on social dynamics.

I will leave you with an example of practical application of this knowledge to influence the behavior of groups of people. But first you need to understand that by taking an extreme position over any particular subject you are creating a disconnection between yourself and everyone else in that group, and this will have a negative effect in people’s opinions of your persona. This is to say if you take extreme positions over subjects all the time people won’t like you.

So if you don’t mind people not liking you in a particular group, and you want that group to take a particular position on a subject, infiltrate that group and voice a very extreme position, opposite to the one you want the group to take. Make it impossible to relate to for them, by presenting an argument that will make them feel disconnected from you and feel compelled to argue with you.

For example if you are talking to a group of woman about the ethics of being easy (a slut) and you want them to take the position that being a slut is not wrong, present a very rational argument on why being slutty is wrong. Get crazy with it, to the point you want to argue with yourself, and that’s when you know you are fucking with their heads.

“First of all, there´s a 70% chance increase of catching diseases by having sex with more than one partner, and to be honest you shouldn’t even be having sex until you are married”

Dude that statement is so annoying if some guy came to me and started with that shit I would even get angry and punch the guy, and that’s exactly what you want to accomplish. Make them relate the idea and the position with that negative feeling, and then let them reply, and let them elaborate. Challenge them, don’t let them win, make them think and elaborate, develop a full idea. Then you have inception.

A note on the ethics of this knowledge: manipulation is wrong and not only that, but it also is a very dark knowledge, and using dark knowledge will not make you happy. Also it will always, and I mean every time, have side effects that you didn’t expect. This can be counterproductive. But that’s not even the worse part. Using this kind of knowledge fucks with your self-worth, and will make you have a temporary sense of power from an ego validation provided by the fact that you could manipulate and control an intelligent person, making you feel more intelligent than them. This will soon wear away, as what makes people happy is not ego validation, but doing the right thing, as a habit. Also, ego validation as a source of feeling good is addictive.

This post is meant for you to understand the dynamics involved in rational debates, and I personally use it to avoid getting extreme in any argument, as I know I won’t accomplish anything by doing so, except making people resent be and creating an opposite reaction to the one intended, as by debating you never convince anyone of anything.

Just know that there’s a dark side to social dynamics. A very powerful, but soul destroying part, which you have to be very careful to avoid.

Hope you find value in this,

Jason.